release me

This sucks. I want to get the hell out of here.

About timothyjlambert

Timothy J. Lambert is allegedly a writer.
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38 Responses to release me

  1. marikanola says:

    If you are in there much longer … we are going to throw a FREE TIM concert to raise awareness!

  2. geb1966ky says:

    Here’s hoping it is very soon!!!

  3. dogrl says:

    OK, Tim, here’s the plan:
    In one hour I’ll pull up with the van. You be outside enjoying some fresh air and be ready to jump in. I’m guessing the chest tube is out but if not, I’ll take care of it when we get to the compound.
    See ya then!

  4. markgharris says:

    If some “Glinda” comes along and tells you that the ability to leave by clicking your paper hospital shoes was in your power all along, please gently remove her glittering crown and break a brick over her skull. I’ve never forgiven her for that bullshit.

    • marikanola says:

      I sent you mail about that…

    • yeah, so true. I mean, WTF? This poor girl, depending on which version you like, was so sweet, and had to go through all that, just to find out that “hey, you had the power to go home all along.” I would mess up some woman in a pinkish peach dress pretty bad for that. Or sic Toto on her. Biatch.

  5. markgharris says:

    Hey– you’ve got the Internet! Yay! Just realized. : )

  6. n8an says:

    It’s probably no consolation, but you’re probably the hottest thing in a hospital gown.

  7. Hospitals can really be a drag, but here’s how you liven things up. First have Becky bring you a long white robe. Then you walk through the halls. Go into a room and stand at the foot of the bed with your arms out-streatched. Softly call the person’s name and add. “Are you ready?”
    Trust me you’ll be home pretty quick.

  8. I am so sorry you are still there. Today, I was thinking about you (in my post), and I went through every drawer in the room wondering what I can take home. I mean, how often is it that I can get a tan plastic pitcher for water to bring home? Then I realized, wait, everything in here is itemized and put on my bill. That means, I OWN IT ALL. I became lord of my domain, and started taking the toothpaste, the plastic vomit dish, the phone (okay not the phone, but I could if I wanna, right?), and then I thought, hum what about the sheets? So, I asked. Turns out, no. But we do pay for the flipping toilet paper. Not that I need it, but hey, if I bought it, why not take it home with me. I was amazed at all the things that I owned just from being in the emergency room. I think it’s time you became Master of your Domain.

    • ebandit says:

      Master of your domain? Like on Seinfeld? I would think a chest tube would PROBABLY make that easier..but then if there is a hot male nurse….no guarantees. heeeheheehe

  9. davidpnyc says:

    Hope you get home soon, pal.

  10. dukecityjim says:

    Feel better soon, Tim.

  11. ebandit says:

    Wish I could spring ya, but you need to be better first….I am sure they won’t keep you any longer than they have too. Like with all medical facilities-it is all about the bottom line.

    I know it surely sucks. I would bet there are no dogs that need you to whisper to them in that place. Hmmm…think Becky and smoness could smuggle some canine craziness into your room?

  12. Get Well Soon!

    Tim,
    I hope you get better soon. :-D You are in my prayers.

    Hey, just think of the superpowers you’ll get from this experience.

    Ellen

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