big day, pt. 2

I was in the middle of The Wedding Planner, around 3:30 pm, and was trying to relax when the phone rang. It was Becky, who was at Rouge and helping L____ assemble the cakes. There was some sort of air conditioning crisis and people were asking her questions, as if she knew anything about the venue. I said I’d be right there. Just as I had my hand on my front door’s knob, the phone rang again. It was Allan, Best Man, who’d just dropped off half the flowers at Rouge. (He’d used some at the rehearsal dinner the night before.) Something told me my Wedding Bitch hat was to remain firmly planted on my head from that moment on.

I got to Rouge at 4:00. The A/C at Rouge couldn’t be set below 70 degrees, or it would die. When Allan dropped off his flowers, he’d set it to 60something because it was pretty warm in there and he didn’t want them wilting. They set the A/C to where it should be; problem solved. I went by the B&B where Lindsey and Rhonda took a room for the night, before jetting off on their honeymoon, just to see if we could get in to ransack their room at some point. The place was locked up tighter than Fort Knox. I called and found out I’d only have an hour if we wanted to do anything, because their front desk person was going to leave for the night soon.

Good to know.

I went back by Rouge, because the rest of the flowers were to arrive at 4:30. The valet dudes had just arrived, so I introduced myself and thanked them in advance for taking good care of our guests’ cars. I got upstairs and found the flower delivery guy putting flowers on tables. Good timing! I signed and thanked him, then rearranged everything.

I went back home to take a quick shower and get my suit in the car, along with the rings and other wedding paraphernalia that had been entrusted into my care. With shampoo dripping into my eyes, I turned off the shower and answered one of two ringing phones resting on the towel rack. It was Ileya, Maid of Honor, returning a call I’d made earlier to find out who had the stuff for the room at the B&B. She informed me that that would be Meesh, Maid of Honor. (Cool thing about this wedding: two of everything, just like Noah’s Ark.) I thanked her and then answered the other ringing phone. It was Meesh, Maid of Honor, letting me know she had the stuff for the B&B room. I arranged to meet her in Disco Kroger’s parking lot.

After being handed flowers, rose petals, two bottles of water, and an adorable photo of Lindsey & Rhonda, I left Kroger’s parking lot and went back to Rouge. From then on I helped Kevin the videographer get set up, helped Matt the DJ with anything he needed, placed the vows, rings, and other wedding paraphernalia under the chuppah, made sure the rabbi had everything he needed, checked off names of the wedding party from my list as they arrived, made sure everyone was there, and pretty much jumped every time someone said, “Tim?!”

Before I knew it, it was 6 pm and I thought it might be wise to change into my suit. When I exited the bathroom a changed man, the vast majority of the wedding party woohooed loudly and made me blush. Lindsey and Rhonda had brought their cordless phone’s headset for me to wear as a joke, so I put it on and mugged for someone’s camera. That was fun. Then it was back into Wedding Bitch mode, making sure Matt knew all his music cues and what exactly the rabbi was going to say, and the order of the wedding party’s entrance.

My favorite moment was opening the doors as Claire de Lune played and letting the wedding party know when to march down the aisle. I kept whispering funny things like, “Those shoes are hot. Go!” “You two are the sexiest couple here. Too bad he’s gay, huh? Go!”

The ceremony was wonderful. I won’t even try to describe it. What I will describe are the eight round tables, all done up in crisp off-white linens, and beautiful white and red centerpieces. With Becky’s help, I’d constructed placecards with silver wine stoppers attached by a ribbon; there were ten of those to a table in a ring around the centerpieces. With ten guests to a table, there were at least three guests per table daubing their eyes with linen napkins while the rabbi spoke kind and loving words about Lindsey and Rhonda. It was nice.

Immediately after the ceremony I had to help Matt the DJ move a bunch of equipment, then there was myriad other things to do…can’t remember much there, as it was all a blur. The best men (there were two, remember) said a blessing, dinner was served, and I took that moment to pass my salad to Matt the DJ and stole away to the B&B to decorate L&R’s room. I put the bottles of water (no champagne, because we didn’t think they’d be drinking) against their pillows in an arrangement that suggested that the bottles were making out. Then I put the picture of them on the bed, and covered the whole thing with rose petals. Then I made a path of petals from the door to the bed. There were still petals left over, so I trailed some more to the enormous bathtub. I put some in the tub. Then, for a laugh, I put some in the toilet, and even lined the seat with petals.

Back at Rouge, I found it difficult to eat dinner. I was keyed up, so my stomach was a bit floopy, but also because there was always something I needed to do. Which Becky has documented here. This person had a question about when to cut the cake, that person wondered when we’d take photographs, she needed to know if the music could be turned down, he wondered if the music could be turned up, they needed more wine, that table wanted more water, nobody cared that I wasn’t a waiter. And neither did I. I was more than happy to get them whatever they wanted. Funny thing was, I had no idea what I was doing. We hadn’t arranged a set order of events beforehand, so things just happened naturally, and it all turned out great. Except…the photographers left before the cake was cut. Oops. But at least twenty different guests took pictures of that moment and more, so it’s not like it was a total loss.

Everyone kept telling me what a wonderful night they had, how beautiful the room was, and how glad they were to be a part of such a joyous occasion. Some people asked for my card, assuming that wedding planning is my usual gig. I just smiled and said I didn’t have any, then thanked them for the compliment, and thanked them again for being there.

But the best was Lindsey and Rhonda’s general euphoria the entire evening. It was so great to be a part of making them happier. They were already happy, but today obviously made them even happier, and that’s what it’s all about.

About timothyjlambert

Timothy J. Lambert is allegedly a writer.
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16 Responses to big day, pt. 2

  1. Sounds excellent. You could be my Wedding Bitch anytime. Everything just seems perfect, even with the little “things” that were unexpected.

    Note: Wedding Planners make HUGE money.

  2. retaliashun says:

    you were right, busy busy for a date, i cry at weddings as it is.

  3. darshan1 says:

    congratulations :-)

  4. markgharris says:

    Ha! @ petals in the toilet and on the seat.

  5. I didn’t realize that I’d bought enough petals for a toilet dressing also. Cool! I wish I’d run off to the B&B with you, just to see that.

    And yes, we were the sexiest couple out there. At least he’s single, and I didn’t have to deal with a jealous S.O.

    You did a fantastic job!

    • He’s single? I had no idea.

    • rhondarubin says:

      So THAT is what took you so damned long when you went to Disco Kroger! You sneaky minx. The B&B room was beautiful. As exhausted as we were when we arrived, we had to hug, cry (again) and thank God for the wonderful friends we have.

      • Well if you’d just let me drop you off at Rouge as I’d intended after the hair and makeup thing, you wouldn’t have had to wait so long.

        You really screwed up my plans. But, hey, the day sure turned out great anyway, didn’t it? With a lot of thanks to your Wedding Bitch!

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