I’ve come to realize that I’m living most of Jennifer Lopez’s movie roles. Many years ago I took voice lessons, sang in choirs, and thought about training to be an operatic tenor, but then my singing career died, so that’s kind of like Selena. I’m helping Lindsey and Rhonda plan their wedding and became a self-appointed Wedding Bitch, just like J-Lo in The Wedding Planner. I walk dogs, just like J-Lo’s character in Monster In Law. Today I started cleaning my friend L____’s house once a week on Thursdays, so that’s kind of like Maid In Manhattan. L____ has snakes in her backyard, so I hope I don’t find myself in Anaconda.
Just so you know, I now only answer to the name Consuella on Thursdays. And, yes, I’m legal. Now, where’s my hot guy and happily ever after?