For the past week I’ve been coming to the “Update Journal” page, often staring at it fruitlessly, and sometimes with words clattering about in my head, but lacking the focus to put them into a coherant sentence. Within the grand scheme of the world’s problems, losing and being so emotional over a cherished pet seems somewhat…small. Still, I’m glad that I, as well as the people that have reached out to me and Becky during this past week, have the ability to be caring, understanding, and loving.
I’ve been the typical Gemini this past week, overly-emotional one minute, avoiding my feelings the next. I finished the proposal for my partial manuscript and sent it off to Alyson, then spent a day or two playing games on my laptop. I’ve worked on other writing projects, too, but have played way too many games of poker online and smoked way too many cigarettes.
Becky’s dogs, Margot and Guinness, have been very attentive since the minute we came home from the vet that awful day. Guinness spent hours on my lap, obviously worried about how upset I was. She’s very empathetic. Margot has been very kind about sharing her furniture with me. Anyone who knows her should understand what a gracious and generous that is. I think Margot has finally accepted that River is gone, because she seems to have stopped grabbing the squeaky bone and relentlessly chewing on it, making it sound like a mouse in heat, as if to draw River out from his “hiding place” to play like they used to do.
Lindsey and Rhonda visited The Compound a couple of times and made me laugh, as they always do. I was so grateful just to smile. They’re coming over Thursday night to watch the first episode of the new season of Survivor, which I’m looking forward to. Pizza, friends, and escapist television. I love it.
Life goes on, and so do the memories; both difficult, yet good.