cat wrath

Much to Lazlo’s horror, I forgot to buy cat food yesterday. I’m a sucky human sometimes. I had enough for last night’s feeding, but he still punished me by walking around and meowing every hour, on the hour until morning. That’s when River started his Wake Up Houston campaign. It’s lovely that he doesn’t leave the bed until I do, but he lays there and pants while thumping his tail against the matress. It’s like having my own vibrating bed. You’d think the dog’s full of quarters or something.

As further punishment, Lazlo called out to the sky today and the clouds came, bringing forth the rain. I couldn’t wait it out, for fear the earthquakes and locusts would be next on his list, so I braved the deluge, completely forgetting that rain washes away everyone’s ability to drive. My stomach was feeling floopy as it was, but the three times people nearly killed me made me scream like a little girl and it was all I could do to control the wheel of the car, let alone my bowels. Luckily I made it to Whole Foods in one piece and procured two bags of cat food.

When I exited Whole Foods, the clouds had parted and the rain had stopped. Needless to say, Lazlo is eating as we speak.

That cat is evil, I tell you. EVIL! But don’t tell him I said so. I’m afraid of him.

About timothyjlambert

Timothy J. Lambert is allegedly a writer.
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