irresponsible hate anthem

While driving to Hanley, Inc. today I was waiting at a four-way intersection when I saw a dog stop on somebody’s lawn and poop. There was nobody around at all and the dog seemed very anxious. It was a cocker spaniel, which is a fairly high strung breed of canine, and I have to admit that if I was defecating on a stranger’s front lawn I’d be in a big hurry, too. However, this dog was squatting and craning its neck as if desperately looking for somebody. Perhaps the person who should’ve been next to the dog with a leash in one hand and a plastic bag in the other?

As I slowly moved forward I followed the dog’s gaze and noticed a woman on a bicycle about a block ahead of us. I lowered the car’s passenger side window as I pulled up alongside of her and yelled, “Is that your dog back there?” She kind of glanced over her shoulder and said, “Yup!” I responded, “You know there’s a leash law, right?” She didn’t respond, as if I suddenly started speaking an unintelligible language. I tried again. “Your dog should be on a leash!” Again, no response. The dog had now caught up with us and there about three cars crawling along behind me, but I didn’t care. “If you need a leash for your dog, I’ll give you one,” I offered.

She stopped peddling. She got me there. I wasn’t about to hit the brakes and have the cars behind me slam into my bumper at five miles per hour. Instead I eased off the gas and fired my final salvo: “Your dog crapped on somebody else’s lawn! You suck!”

About timothyjlambert

Timothy J. Lambert is allegedly a writer.
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3 Responses to irresponsible hate anthem

  1. Jeffrey says:

    I guess you were speaking a language unintelligible to her: logic.

  2. Becky says:

    What is wrong with people?

    IT’S THE LAW.

  3. Rhonda says:

    Last year, I was walking Sugar before we went to bed. Sugar sometimes has issues when she’s on a leash and sees dogs. When she’s on a leash and the other dog isn’t on a leash, she gets very wiggy. We were coming up to the corner, when I noticed a man with a small-ish fluffball. Initially, I couldn’t tell if the dog wasn’t on a leash, or was just on one of those extendo-leashes. The other dog saw Sugar and started coming toward us. Sugar became predictably wiggy. I had enough space to walk into the street to avoid them, so I asked, “Is that dog not on a leash?” “No, he’s not.” My reply was just a sarcastic, “Awesome.” He seemed offended and said, “Yes, it IS awesome.”

    I was too concerned about keeping Sugar calm and rounding the corner to give the other pet owner a lesson in leash laws and how the world consists of more than him and his dog.

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