Sometime last week I was driving back to Hanley Inc. with The Big H in the backseat and mentioned to her that we would probably have time to go to the pool. She seemed enthusiastic about the idea, but you can never be sure, because she tends to change her mind about things very quickly these days. One minute she likes me, the next I’m fired. She’ll want some applesauce, but then you bring it to her and she acts like it’s nuclear waste. Or, she’ll demand to watch Dora the Explorer, but then–oh, wait. She always wants to watch Dora. Anyway, a few minutes later I decided I should test her to make sure she really wanted to go to the pool, so I asked, “Where are we going, Hanley?”
“I have to hold Timothy’s hand and not cry!” she stated emphatically.
“That’s damned good advice,” I agreed, and decided that meant she wanted to go to the pool.
After going to the pool, we arrived at Hanley Inc. and The Big H yelled, “I want to watch Dora!”
I said what I always say when she acts bossy. “Nope.”
“Dora’s broken,” Hanley said.
“Yes, she’s seriously flawed.”